


Radiant (Garden) UNiversity (Biennial Scavenger) [T Inserted Upon Request] Hunt

by papersandals (laronmi)



Series: College Verse [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Game Shows, Multi, Road Trips, college shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laronmi/pseuds/papersandals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Axel and party participate in a scavenger hunt, a road trip happens, fun is had by all (lies), lessons are learned (more lies), friendships are formed (investigation pending), and Aeleus is transformed from a humble grad student to a tortured poet (lack of soul notwithstanding).</p><p>OR: How Axel discovered his goal in life was to strangle Demyx without anyone stopping him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> The Runt Hunt is based off The University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt, or the Scav Hunt, or just Scav. My old roommate was an alumni, and she told us many stories about it. This story is therefore partially her fault.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I'm pretty sure the Scav Hunt is not quite as extreme as the Runt Hunt, though.~~
> 
>  
> 
> Characters, pairings, and tags will be updated as chapters are released.

He was accosted by Demyx on a Monday morning.

"Axel," Demyx said, slinging an arm around his neck and pulling him close in what was most likely supposed to be a friendly gesture, but made Axel choke and nearly drop his physics book on his foot. "Buddy! You're an engineer, right?"

Axel backhanded him in the face so Demyx could let go and let him speak. "What about it?"

"Man, why you always gotta be so violent?" Demyx whined, rubbing his nose. In the next second, he was smiling again. "You doing the scavenger hunt?"

Axel blinked owlishly at him. It was eight-thirty in the morning. He had a physics class at nine and no coffee in him. Demyx was obnoxiously cheerful and looked like he had actually gotten a full night's sleep. At the moment, Axel hated him.

"If your teammates don't mind," Demyx continued, unaware to Axel's plight and burgeoning homicidal urges, "could I join up with you guys? I mean, only the team leader has to be in the department, right?"

"Demyx," Axel said slowly as he thought about stringing him up by his sitar strings on top of the flagpole in the quad, "what the hell are you talking about."

Demyx was actually stunned into silence for a good half-minute, something that Axel had never seen happen before and therefore was extremely concerned about. Before he could retreat and leave the oddities of the morning to the rest of the world, Demyx broke out of his stupor and leaped at him.

"Dude, you don't know about the scavenger hunt?" he asked, grabbing Axel by the hoodie and shaking him. "THE scavenger hunt? The one that we're famous for?! The one that made me want to apply here in the first place?"

"If you don't let go of me," Axel said, "I will burn your fingers off with a blowtorch and feed them to your dog."

"Don't mess up Barth, man," Demyx said, but he let go of Axel as requested. "Seriously, how can you not know about the scavenger hunt? You're an engineering major!"

"I try not to remind myself of that."

"Okay, that's it," Demyx cried, and he grabbed Axel by the arm and started dragging him towards the engineering hall and away from coffee. "I am taking you to the registration desk and you are going to be enlightened."

Axel wondered if punching Demyx in the face would make up for the lack of caffeine.

\---

He did not, much to his own surprise, end up punching Demyx in the face, although he came awfully close to doing it before they arrived at the sign-up desk. Wonder of wonders, they were giving away free coffee in line, and Axel took three cups and chugged them all, blatantly ignoring the horrified look Demyx gave him and the looks of sympathy his fellow engineers shot him.

"I feel like me again," he gasped when he tossed the third cup in the trash. "Now what's this about a scavenger hunt?"

The line exploded into conversation. A girl Axel thought he vaguely recognized from one of his classes gave him an incredulous look while two guys in front of them immediately started ragging on him for not knowing. Demyx, of course, ended up talking over both of them.

"The biennial RGU scavenger hunt! The largest university endorsed and sponsored scavenger hunt of the world! A weekend of hunting down items, contests, and public humiliation for fame, glory, and the respect of all your peers! Last time a team got arrested and nearly started an international incident, but they still only came in fourth place!"

"You realize," Axel said as the line now burst out in conversation about the last hunt, "that means nothing to me, right?"

Demyx slumped over and stomped his feet a few times. "It's fun! It's a giant team-based scavenger hunt with great prizes and fame for the winners! You'll like it, Axel. It's right up your alley."

"I'm concerned about what you think my alley is, but," he shrugged, grabbing another cup of coffee from the poor sap who was going up and down the lines and passing them out, "since I'm already here, why not? I didn't feel like going to physics anyway."

\---

He should have gone to physics. When they entered the building, Axel had severely underestimated just how many people were signing up. As he learned, that Monday was the first day of sign-ups, and Demyx wasn't the only one who had been looking forward to the scavenger hunt for two years. He ended up waiting past physics and statistics, and while he didn't mind missing those two classes, the break he had between stats and his engineering lab was coming to an end, and he actually wanted to go to that.

"How long until we reach the table?"

Demyx peeked around the line. "Soon," he said, which is what he'd been saying for the past hour. They'd stopped serving coffee long ago, and Axel was starting the feel the crash kick in, not helped by the sheer boredom he was experiencing from having to wait in line so long.

"I missed a day of classes for this," he muttered as Demyx started humming some strange tune. "You're going to buy me dinner."

"What? I got you to miss a day of classes! You should be thanking me!"

"You know, Demyx, not everyone has the same attitude towards classes as you do."

Demyx gave him a look that probably meant, "And you do?" Axel chose to interpret it as, "Gee, Axel. You're so wise. Thank you, my wiser and more sophisticated elder, for steering me on the path of success and glory."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Demyx said, grinning and leaning sideways to look ahead at the line again. "This is a totally excusable reason for skipping class. Look at how many people are here!"

"Yeah, and only one desk," Axel said darkly. "Glad to see the engineering department's sparing no expense for something that half the campus turned out for."

Demyx didn't respond to that, and, to Axel's dismay, another half-hour passed before they were finally at the front of the line.

"Team leader?" the person at the desk asked, and Demyx clapped Axel on the back.

"Wha—" Axel began, but the person shoved a pen in his hands and tapped the sign-up sheet.

"Write your name in legible print here. Write the names of your other three teammates on the lines here. Put down your contact information in the correct spaces. If you have more than four people on your team, you can update your info once we make an account for you on the website."

Axel looked at the sheet. There were three spaces for him to list his other team members. "And if we only have two people in our team?"

"Minimum four people," the receptionist said, and Demyx clamped down on Axel's shoulder.

"Oh, we totally have four people, right, Axel? Now come on," he pleaded, giving Axel a desperate look. "Write down their names!"

Forget dinner, Demyx owned him a fucking four course meal. Still, he hadn't waited in line for hours for nothing, so after a second's deliberation, jotted down Roxas and Xion's names as well. They'd be okay with it. Hopefully.

Once the form was filled out—a process that didn't take much time at all, which made Axel wonder why it took them so damn long to reach the table in the first place—Demxy marched him out of the building and into the autumn afternoon sun.

"Holy shit," Axel said. "How long were we in there?"

Demyx shrugged. "A while? Oh, who'd you put down as our other two team members?"

Axel glared at Demyx in hopes that he'd spontaneously combust, but luck wasn't on his side that day.

"You're buying all of us dinner," he said before heading towards the parking lot.

\---

Demyx ended up following him to Roxas's apartment, which worked out in Axel's favor when he made Demyx hold the phone so he could call Xion. It ran until the voicemail the first time, but the second time he made Demyx call, Xion picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Xion! Meet me at Roxas's in fifteen."

A pause. "Axel, I'm in the middle of baking a pie."

"Great! Everyone loves pie."

"No, I mean that I'm up to my elbows in flour, and that'd it take me at least fifteen minutes just to clean up. Why did you want us to meet?"

"Oh, you know. Hanging out. Best friend stuff."

"Scavenger hunt," Demyx shouted, and Axel winced at the volume.

"You're doing the scavenger hunt?!" Xion's voice was so loud it cracked over the line. "Okay, I'll be there in under half an hour, promise! I'll see you soon!"

The line went dead afterwards, and Demyx ended the call for him with a cheery smile on his face. Axel just barely resisted the urge to let go of the wheel in order to strangle him.

When they pulled up to Roxas's apartment, the urge transformed into a fervent, violent need, and Axel had just turned off the ignition and was about to reach over and throttle Demyx to death when the latter skipped out the car door and ran up to a door at random.

"You don't even know which apartment it is," Axel bellowed, and the door to apartment 13 opened. Sora stood in the door way, looking confused until he spotted Axel's car, at which point his face brightened into a smile. When Demyx ran up to him, however, his expression turned back to one of confusion.

"Roxas?" Demyx asked, and Sora looked flabbergasted for a second.

"Wow. I'm not even Ven."

"Huh?"

"Close the door and don't look back," Axel shouted from inside his car, where he had, just a few seconds ago, been painfully reminded of the fact that he had yet to unbuckle his seat belt.

Sora stood on his tiptoes to look at Axel through the windshield, then rested back on his feet and looked at Demyx.

"Are you a friend of his, or should I go get a baseball bat?"

"Axel and I are totally buddies."

"LIES. SORA, CLOSE THE DOOR."

"Right," Sora said, closing the door, "I'm gonna get Roxas's bat."

"No, wait," Demyx said, throwing himself at the door and nearly getting his fingers crushed in the process. "I need to talk to Roxas! He's on our team for the scavenger hunt!"

The door opened so quickly that Demyx almost got crushed by it going the other way. "Scavenger hunt," Sora exclaimed, a gleam in his eyes that Axel was extremely wary about, now that he was finally out of his car. "You mean _the_ scavenger hunt?! The Runt Hunt?!"

"The Runt what," Axel said as he finally arrived at the door, but the other two ignored him.

"Totally! You know about it?"

"The Runt Hunt is why I applied to RGU! Well, and for my friends, but Runt Hunt!"

"Dude, join our team!" Demyx elbowed Axel and pointed to Sora. "He's cool, right?"

"I thought I understood everything, but I don't."

"How could you not know about the Runt Hunt?" Sora asked, and as Axel was about to voice how sick he was of people asking him about how he didn't have any idea about something he'd _never heard of before_ , Sora inhaled deeply then yelled, "VEN! WE'RE DOING THE RUNT HUNT."

"RUNT HUNT," Axel heard Ventus yell back, "WE'RE DOING THE RUNT HUNT?!"

"AXEL'S GOT A TEAM!!"

"YEAH, HE'S GOT A TEAM," Demyx added, somehow managing to out-yell both Sora and Ven. "JOIN OUR TEAM."

Then Roxas shoved Sora to the side and stood in the door, scowling and covering his ears with his hands. "Stop yelling. I was napping!" Then he narrowed his eyes and looked at Demyx. "Who are you?"

"AXEL'S FRIEND," Demyx replied, then quieted down when Roxas gave him a look. "We're doing the Runt Hunt together."

Instead of commenting, Roxas turned to Axel and gestured at Demyx with a nod of his head. "Friend as in friend, or friend as in I should get my bat?"

"You understand me so well," Axel said as Demyx pouted.

"Why does everyone want to beat me up today? I'm bringing good news!"

"You could've brought it more quietly," Roxas muttered, but he yawned and stepped aside. "All right, I'm not going back to sleep for a while. Axel, you're leading a team?"

"Against my will," Axel answered, and he stepped into the apartment after Demyx, who immediately headed for the couch and sprawled lazily all over it. "Demyx practically forced me at gun point."

"You were totally up for it, man. Stop lying. He was—" Whatever Demyx was about to say was interrupted by Ven running down the stairs, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

"When are we leaving?" he asked as Demyx looked at him, then at Roxas, then at Ven, then at Roxas again.

"There's two of you," he exclaimed, and Ven and Roxas gave him identical looks of uncertainty.

"Yes," Roxas said. "We're twins. And no, that's not related to anything on this year's list, so if you have any ideas, drop 'em."

Axel groaned. "Do I want to know why you know what's not on the list?"

Roxas gave him an innocent look. "It's the Runt Hunt. How do you not know about it?"

"How does everyone else know about it?" Axel asked in despair as the front door swung open and Xion ran in, duffle bag in hand.

"When are we leaving?" Xion asked, and Axel buried his face in his hands and swore revenge.


	2. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please have custom work skins turned on! Otherwise, the formatting may not appear as intended. If you don't want to have it turned on, you can also read a formatted version of this chapter [over on Dreamwidth.](http://teletubby.dreamwidth.org/6670.html)
> 
> Also, Radiant Garden is its own country. Somehow. [There are notes available on Dreamwidth](http://teletubby.dreamwidth.org/6649.html) as well. Just roll with it. Part of the magic of fanfic is being able to do whatever you want.

_Good morning, Hunters! It's Runt Hunt Twenty-One, which means our little tradition is finally old enough to drink. Trust us, there'll be so much alcohol invovled that it'll make Nu Theta Tau's weekly parties look, well, weak._

_(We love you, ΝΘΤ. Runt Hunt wouldn't be here today if not for your generous donations of money and booze.)_

_To kick things off, have the first list of three! The Group Events, including everyone's favorite, the Runt Hunt Olympics. This year's games will be even more action packed than ever before, although we should warn those with sensitive stomaches to stay away..._

_Don't worry, though. We're pretty certain no one's going to get poisoned this year._

\---

He decided to take his revenge on a Tuesday morning.

What that revenge would entail, exactly, he had yet to decide on, but Axel had about eight different plans running around in his head, and all of them were highly appealing. To assist in his revenge, he decided to dress aggressively, and had picked out an appropriate outfit to do so in.

When he walked into the kitchen in his ass-kicking finery, Riku was chugging down the last of his morning coffee, but stopped and put the mug down when he spotted Axel's leather skirt.

"What," Axel said, opening the freezer and stealing one of Riku's bagels.

"You do realize," Riku said, eyebrow raised, "that the high is in the low forties today, right?"

Axel looked down. "I'm on fire on the inside. I'll be fine."

"Right," Riku said, then put his mug in the sink and grabbed his keys and jacket. "Text me if your fire burns out and you need a ride before you freeze to death. Oh," he added once he got to the door, "if you kick someone, do it somewhere not in front of our door, please. I don't want to get more calls about you committing acts of public indecency."

"I'm wearing underwear today," Axel yelled after him, and Riku waved him farewell.

\---

_Runt Hunt Group Event 1:_

_The first year of Runt Hunt's execution was a bumpy road filled with mistakes, accidents, poor planning, and someone getting sodomized by a banana (Consensually, except on maybe the banana's part, since bananas can't consent to anything). We've strived to avoid repeating those mistakes ever since, but there is one event from Runt Hunt One we would like to commemorate._

_During that infamous first year, Team Lick My Ice from our beloved Nu Theta Tau decided to fulfill one of the items on the list by driving out to the USA, Canada, and Radiant Garden border. Their trip there was a thirty-six hour long whirlwind of bad choices and regret that resulted in RGU students being banned from fifteen different bars, a lawsuit from the Amish, and the United States FBI showing up in the Greek Dorms._

_While we'd like to avoid the FBI, we have been un-banned from all fifteen bars this year. In celebration, we'd like for you to reenact certain scenes from the road trip that got us banned in the first place. Full details will come out on the early list on Thursday. Just keep in mind that the road trip can't start until Friday at 11:59 PM, and that the team leader is required to attend. It's worth up to a sweet five hundred points, though, so team leaders, take one for the team._

\---

"You," Axel said to Demyx when he cornered him down in a cheap Chinese restaurant favored by the majority of people who knew it existed.

"Axel, look," Demyx said, then shoved a stapled together packet at his face. "The event list came out!"

Axel grabbed the list, then stuffed it without looking at it into his messenger bag. "Listen, you," he said, jabbing Demyx in the chest, "you owe me for this."

"Dude, I'll buy you dinner."

"Not just dinner," Axel barked. "I've looked at the list. There's a _thirty-six hour road trip_ worth five hundred points total that the team leader must be present for! And don't tell me that we don't have to do it," he added when Demyx opened his mouth, "because I did my research and know everyone else on the team well enough to know that we're going to have to do it, which means I'll be stuck in a small space with you as company for thirty-six hours, and _I have an exam on Monday._ "

"But it'll be fun," was Demyx's response. Axel nearly strangled him.

"I'd rather get a tatoo by branding myself with a hot iron," he said, and Demyx shrugged.

"Some people are into that. And don't sweat the small stuff, Axel," he said quickly when Axel moved his hands towards Demyx's neck. "You'll be fine! I can drive, and you can study in my car."

"We are not driving your moving dump for thirty-six hours."

"Okay, you leave Sparkles out of this."

"You named your car— Ugh. Fine. Listen," Axel said, pointing at Demyx, "I'm laying down some ground rules. First, everything you say is going to be ignored."

"What?" Demyx said. Axel ignored him.

"Two, I'm team leader, so we're going to do this my way. Three, you aren't allowed to speak unless I give you permission."

"These rules are stupid," Demyx said, and Axel shushed him.

"Did I tell you you could speak? Now, as team leader, I'm gonna give you a command. I want you to go home and stay in your house and not bother me unless I contact you. Clear?"

"You can't tell me to go home," Demyx whined. "I actually gotta go to my next class!"

"Don't care!" Axel threw his hands up and walked backwards towards the door. "I'm ignoring you! See you on Friday, maybe!" Then he ran into a chair, stumbled, and exited the restaurant.

\---

_Runt Hunt Group Event 2:_

_Remember the Newlywed Game? It appalls and grieves us that some of the freshman and juniors may not, and while we'd love to go into a detailed explanation of what it is, it's a lot easier for us to tell you to just Google it._

_Event number two is a variation of that classic game show. Instead of taking newlywed couples, however, we're doing the Newly-Dating Game! Doesn't roll off the tongue as well, but we're betting it's going to be a heck of a lot more approachable._

_Each team participating will submit one couple who have been dating for less than sixty (60) days. Depending on how many couples we end up getting, we will have a series of quick elimination rounds to find our top four couples before entering the EXTREME ELIMINATION FINAL ROUND._

_The event will be held at the Park Plaza Outdoors Auditorium. Needless to say, this game isn't for everyone. Expect public humiliation, embarrassment, and possibly break-ups. If, however, these things don't phase you and your beloved—or if you're just that confident—sign up! The game starts on Saturday at 9 AM!_

\---

Tuesday afternoon was spent in a coffeehouse, begging Ienzo to join their team.

"Pleaaaaaase," Axel said, and Ienzo gave him a pained look over his laptop.

"Axel, you've been pleading with me for several minutes, but not once during this time did you actually tell me what you want from me. Considering," he said, closing his laptop, "your desperation, I'm concerned and leaning towards 'no' for whatever it is you're plotting."

"It's not plotting," Axel said. "I just need you to agree to it before I tell you what it is."

Ienzo sighed. "No."

"Pleeeeaaaaa—"

"No," he said again, more insistently. "Tell me what you're planning, or I'm leaving."

"Can't do that unless I have your word that you're going to do it first."

Ienzo rubbed his forehead. "Since it appears we are at a standstill, I'm going to leave."

"You can't leave," Axel cried, lunging across the table to grab Ienzo's sleeve. His con panna wobbled dangerously as his hand brushed past it, the sad, neglected lump of whip cream on tip falling out of the cup and landing on the saucer. "I need someone who's organized and smart on my team!"

"Ah, you have need of my mind, and you're gathering a team. I have some idea as to what you're planning, but not enough to be convinced. Let go, Lea," he said coldly, "or I will make you regret it."

Axel let go. "...Will it help if I said it's about a scavenger hunt?"

Ienzo paused and didn't try to get up, which Axel took as a good sign. "You're asking me to join your team for Runt Hunt?"

Axel shifted in his seat. "Yes."

"Why would you go through all of this just to ask me if I wanted to participate? There's no need for such elaborate—" He stopped. "Unless..." Ienzo narrowed his eyes. "Who else is on the team?"

Axel most definitely did not fidget, and he was quite proud of himself for not doing so. "You remember Demyx?"

"The man who slaughtered 'Oh Susanna' on a sitar every night and repeatedly tried to hotbox the entire ninth floor of Hollow Hall? Unfortunately, yes, I do remember him. He's the reason I moved out of the dorms in the first place." A sigh. "A pity that I could not avoid him longer."

Axel paused. "That...means you agree to join us?"

"Under a few conditions," Ienzo said, opening his laptop and typing. "I was only unfortunate to live on the same floor as him, so I imagine your frustrations with him must be even greater than mine. So long as his presence isn't overbearing, I'll be fine with being on a team with him. After all, I've suffered worse."

That statement was punctuated with a long, hard stare at Axel over the top of Ienzo's laptop, and Axel scowled in response and slouched in his seat.

"Okay, okay, I get it. I've banished him to house arrest, which will give us about four hours of time before he gets an idea into his head and pulls everyone in to implement it. So let's get down to business! Have you," he said, leaning in, "seen the event list yet?"

"I was not planning on joining a team prior to this, so, no, I haven't. I am skimming over it now."

"Any thoughts?"

"The people who came up with the list are sadists."

"Any _useful_ thoughts?"

"You're looking for an out in regards to the road trip." Ienzo closed his laptop and fixed Axel with a stern look of disapproval. "Five hundred points is no laughing matter. If you're serious about winning, you need to understand and accept leadership."

Axel went silent. He leaned back in his chair, stared blankly at Ienzo for a few seconds, then pointed at him. 

"You're fucking kidding me," he said. "You're taking this seriously. You, of all people, are taking this—"

"The Runt Hunt," Ienzo said, "is more than a mere scavenger hunt. It is a cultural phenomenon with a rich history and significant meaning. It is a rite of passage—"

"It's an excuse to get boozed up and act like idiots a week before midterms!"

"—and I suppose us young whippersnappers should also get off your lawn?"

"Drop the snark, whippersnapper," Axel bit back, then he folded in on himself and rested his head on the table. "I'm supposed to be the snarky one who jumps into things."

"I'm not jumping into this. I'm preparing. Something that you, as team leader—"

"Spare me the lecture," Axel cut in, waving him off. "I just don't get how everyone and their mom seems to know aaaaall about this grand ol' tradition of ours while I don't even know why the hell it's called the Runt Hunt."

"It stands for 'Radiant Garden University Biennial Scavenger T-Inserted-Upon-Request Hunt'."

Axel gave him a blank stare. "What."

"Radiant Garden—"

"I heard you the first time," Axel said quickly. "What was that...T-Inserted stuff? And what does that have to do with the name?"

Ienzo sighed, opened his laptop, typed something, then turned the machine around so Axel could read his screen.

Axel read his screen.

Then he read it again.

Then he threw his hands up in the air and stood up.

"That is the stupidest name I have ever seen in my life," he declared, pointedly ignoring the ugly looks the barista was shooting him. "That doesn't even make sense! Why not call it...Rubs Hunt or something?"

"Rubs Hunt doesn't rhyme," Ienzo said calmly. "It also leaves out Garden."

"Calling it Runt Hunt leaves out half the words! Ugh, I don't care," Axel said, drawing a hand down his face. "Just gimme your e-mail address so I can add you to our team."

"Gladly," Ienzo said, pulling a sheet of paper out of his bag and scribbling something down on it. "Although, if you don't mind, would you tell me our team name?"

"Team I'd Rather Stick Sharp Things Through My Eyeballs Than Deal With This Crap."

Ienzo stopped writing and gave him a look.

"They said I couldn't use the word 'Shit' in our team name, so crap it was."

Ienzo continued giving him a look.

"I'll change the name later."

"Please do so," Ienzo said, then finished writing down his e-mail address and slid the paper across the table. "A reminder that team names and members are finalized on Thursday. I suggest you contact as many people as you know and see who wants to join us. There is, after all, no maximum limit."

"I did read the rules," Axel muttered as he picked up the sheet and tucked it into his bag. "But, yeah, I'll send out a mass e-mail tonight. Thanks for the coffee," he added, gesturing to his untouched con panna. "I'll make Demyx pay for your dinner too."

"I'll pass," was Ienzo's reply, "tempting as the offer sounds."

Axel shrugged. "Your loss. I'll see you later, Ienzo."

"Mmm," Ienzo said, and Axel walked towards the door, ignoring the glare of the barista along the way. He opened the door, stepped out, then stepped back into the café a second later, much to the barista's obvious exasperation.

"So, uh," he said as he scuttled back towards Ienzo's table. "You drive, right? Would you mind giving me a ride? I'm gonna freeze my balls off out there."

\---

_Runt Hunt Group Event 3:_

_We kick off the Runt Hunt Olympics with an obstacle course! Giving away all the details early wouldn't be much fun, so here are a few key words and phrases to keep in mind while you're training your bodies and minds._

  * Tony Hawk video games
  * Nickleback
  * Everyone's favorite number
  * Snow
  * Seasickness
  * Animated tentacles behaving badly
  * Tea parties (The ones with actual tea, not the USA political party)



_Intrigued yet? You should be! Minimum of two people must enter per group, with a maximum of three. We're keeping it small this year. After all, it's not the size that counts, but how you use it._

_The Runt Hunt Olympics will start on Saturday at 6 PM. Make sure your bodies are ready!_

\---

Riku texted him five minutes after he got back. He waited a while before reaching over to where it rested halfway over the edge of his bed, missed grabbing it, knocked it over the edge, then groaned into his pillows as he realized that he'd have to move more than his arm to retrieve it.

The thought was so unappealing that he let the phone sit on the floor for a few minutes before he got another text notification.

Axel groaned, rolled over, then waited a few seconds before sitting up and leaning over to grab his phone.

> Hey, need a ride?
> 
> Are you dead?
> 
> not dead. home. braved the cold all by myself.
> 
> In other words, you got a ride.
> 
> bite me
> 
> No, thanks. But if you're home safe, then I'm going to stay at Sora's and bite him and Kairi instead.
> 
> tm fucking i. enjoy your threesome you vampire

He put his phone on silent and shoved it under his pillow, then debated the merits of getting up and doing his homework. He got up, went to his desk, and sent out the mass e-mail instead. He then opened his notebook, got ready to start on his on his calculus problem set, and twenty minutes later, was on the weird animal documentaries part of YouTube when he got another text from Riku. 

> My romantic night in has turned into a group meeting in the living room and calling dibs on the list you sent out.
> 
> tapir penises are freaky as shit. look it up right now.
> 
> I hate you.
> 
> Sora saw the message and now he and Roxas are Googling tapir penises I HATE YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES
> 
> tell them to look up ducks next

He then enjoyed an entire hour of nature documentaries in solitude, at which point Roxas texted him to let him that Riku was probably going to kill him, that he should get off YouTube and finish his homework, and that he was a lovable asshole. (The lovable part was implied. The asshole part was not.)

All in all, it was a damn good end to his day.


End file.
